Apparently, I am not the only one in this world who complains. What a humanly natural thing to do! I think usually the only one who has a hard time with it is whoever is listening.
In the following five steps, New York City psychologist, Vivian Diller, Ph.D., gives advice: “instead of,” “hang in there,” “shift expectations,” and “avoid.” While I think it can be productive to take the following five steps, so are good friends and asking them if you can borrow their ears to release. Until you can find those awesome willing persons, here you go:
- Identify the discomfort when you feel a complaint coming on.
“Something is bothering me and deserves my attention.” - Consider an alternative proactive behavior instead of lamenting out loud.
“Is there anything I can do that will alleviate my discomfort?” - Tolerate the discomfort temporarily if no action can be taken right away.
“Can I hang in there until I figure out a solution?“ - Shift expectations of yourself and others to lower the bar.
“If I make some internal adjustments, perhaps my discomfort will be more tolerable.“ - Think long-term change to avoid future complaints. “Perhaps I can alter my situation so that the discomfort is less likely to occur in the future.“
charmnomgo 